Do you have a question about sexual health? Submit your own question to our Sexpert!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and it is always best to talk with your primary care provider if you are concerned about your health. To make an appointment with your primary care provider at UHS, call (585) 275-2662.
Submission: How should lube be applied? As a girl, I sometimes masturbate but I never come to an orgasm (in my opinion). When I make out with my boyfriend, I feel the desire for sex but I don’t feel myself “wet.” How should I avoid feeling pain when I try to have sex my first time? I know I will use the lubricant (water-based), but should I just apply it on his penis? Or also inside me?
First let’s start by talking about where to apply lubricant (lube). When applying lube, you can apply it on the penis, vulva, in the vagina, inside and outside a condom, on a dental dam, and anywhere else that you think may feel good. Water-based lube, which you mentioned using, is very easy to clean up, so no need to worry about that. In a situation where you might be feeling a little dry or not getting wet, it would be a good idea to apply it on yourself and your partner. Too much is better than not enough! If you’d like to order lube to your CMC box on campus, you can place an order through Safe Sex Express for lube and other safer sex supplies to ensure that you and your partner are having safe sex.
As far as avoiding pain the first time you have sex, lube is a great start! It will also certainly help to take things very slow. If you are planning to have penetrative sex, don’t rush the penetration, and be sure to communicate to your partner if anything hurts or doesn’t feel good. In addition to this, taking a lot of time before penetration to engage in activities that will help to turn you on will help. This may include making out, massages, masturbating together, reading erotica, oral sex, fingering, and more.
Overall, just be sure that you and your partner communicate clearly with each other about what you are comfortable with, and if anything is painful or doesn’t feel good.